


Anxiety

by iisintrovert



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Eating Disorders, Lots of Angst, M/M, Self-Harm, Some kissing, fun times, i cried, mentions of a fall out boy song, nico and will being a dork, solangelo, trigger warning, will has healing powers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-01
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-04-24 08:36:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4912612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iisintrovert/pseuds/iisintrovert
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nico is kind of a troubled kid. After Tarturaus, he's suffering from heavy anxiety problems that only a trained doctor like Will Solace can help with! I suck at summaries but this is basically Nico being sad and then Will making it better with some thrown in sarcastic humor</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah! this is my first fic I'm putting on this site, the first I ever wrote. My tumblr is iisintrovert and my fanfic blog is iisintrovert2. I hope you enjoy the sadness! (I promise the ending makes it all better)

This wasn't supposed to happen, Nico thought. I just want him to appreciate me, to not think of me as a close friend of death. I want him to think I'm healthy.  
But he wasn't. Nico was very much unhealthy.  
It isn't really his fault, of course. Having everyone you love die when you're at a young age can throw a person into a major depression. Falling into Tarturaus and having to find your way out all on your own can give you very bad anxiety. But when you pair these two things together, and put them into an outcast, that person starts to believe that it is their fault.  
It started that morning. Well, it really started a couple weeks ago when Nico realized that he had developed hard core feelings for a certain son of the sun god. But that morning was when everything fell into place, an awful place, that would leave Nico with terrible feelings of fear in disgust taking up residence in his gut.  
That morning, Nico decided to go to training. His favorite people were going to be there, all together in one room. He thought that would be a good thing. Normally, when a bunch of living people that he enjoys spending time around are near him, his depression falls down and his anxiety stays hidden for a few blissful hours.  
This time all of those people being there to witness him was a terrible thing, at least to this poor Italian teenager.  
Nico walked to the training gym slowly, enjoying the feeling of the cool, moist air of early spring. It was perfect weather for running around and working out in. Not too warm, just cold enough to be comfortable in jeans and a baggy tee-shirt. Maybe Will will be wearing a tank-top and those skinny jeans... Nico thought to himself.  
He shook the thought out of his head, feeling a fiery blush rise up to his cheeks. No need to think of things like that about a crush so early in the morning, especially when he was about to see said crush in just a couple of minutes.  
When Nico arrived at the training gym, he was the only one inside.  
“What?” He mumbled aloud. “They're supposed to be awake by now...” Nico peered down at his watch. “Oh.” He muttered disdainfully.  
The glowing numbers 4:15 stared up at him. He had woken up too early again. He was going to get permanent shadows under his eyes from the amount of sleep he was getting. What would Will think? Would he be disappointed in him? Nico only wanted Will to feel proud of him. Oh gods, what if Will thought he needed to spend more time in the infirmary?  
The thought of sleeping in that tiny tent with all of those sick and hurting people made his anxiety throw him for a loop. It wasn't that Nico didn't like spending time with Will, but that place was one of his nightmares.  
A crushing bought of panic took over his body. “No...” Nico whimpered. “Please, not now.”  
It was too late. Images of pain and suffering bombarded the back of Nico's eyelids. He felt phantom hands touching him from every direction. It was like he was trapped inside his own skull. He couldn't breath, something was sitting on his chest. Tears ran down his face in rivulets.  
Nico didn't know how long the miniature panic attack lasted, only that when it was over, he was curled up in a ball on the floor of the dirty gym.  
“Gods below.” He muttered darkly. “They're probably going to be here any minute, and you had to go and screw things up for yourself.”  
He knew it was his fault. Everything was his fault. His fear, his embarrassment, his awkwardness, he just couldn't do anything correct.  
Nico sat up off of the floor into a cross-legged position. He just needed to stay calm until they got here, that was it. He needed to be calm. The very sight of Will would keep him happy after that. Oh gods, Will. He was so bright, and always singing corny songs, that Nico thought of him as his only sunshine (no pun intended) in his dark, fear filled world.  
Just at that moment, the far door of the gym opened to reveal Will Solace in all of his morning glory.  
“What's up, death breath?” The blonde boy called up. He gave Nico a sunny half smile and Nico could feel his heart breaking. He could also feel his face darkening, because Will had in fact opted to wearing skinny jeans and a tank-top.  
“I thought I told you not to call me that, Solace.” Nico countered. He tried to keep the pitch of his voice from traveling up a few octaves at the sight of Will's lean legs.  
Will shrugged, grinning. Oh, how Nico loved that grin. “I didn't listen.” For the first time the taller boy noticed that Nico was sitting on the ground. His grin dissipated. “Do you need help?” Will called out.  
Nico stood up from the ground and brushed the dust off of his backside. “I'm fine.” He lied. He had been doing that a lot, recently. Lying about how he was. Telling people that he was happy, or 'fine', even though getting out of bed every day was a struggle.  
The door to the gym opened again, this time the one closest to Nico. His friends flooded in as a group.  
Percy and Jason sauntered in first, bantering about the camp fire the night before (Nico hadn't attended, no surprise there). Then Piper, Frank and Hazel, Leo, and finally Annabeth, with a bone sword hanging by her side.  
But it wasn't just any sword, Nico realized.  
It was a sword that he had seen before, a sword he had crossed with his own of Stygian iron. A sword that had sliced him across the chest.  
Images of scars and battles that took place in his nightmares crossed his eyes once more. And other scars. Scars that he had made himself, that he feared, that he wanted no one else to know about. Scars that he felt like making an addition too at that very moment. Nico felt himself begin to black out.  
“No!” He choked out. “Not this!” In all places that it could have happened, he started to have an anxiety attack in front of the few people he cared most about not knowing that he had anxiety attacks.  
But it didn't matter. Once it started, he couldn't stop it. Nico's breath stopped almost all together, and he felt himself loose consciousness.

 

Will Solace had woken up to what he was expecting to be a wonderful day. All that changed when he walked into the camp's largest training camp to see his favorite person in the world collapse onto the ground.  
He saw it almost in slow motion. The look of shock and horror on Nico's beautiful face, before it was replaced by one of panic and anguish. He saw the young boy clutch at his chest in pain and fear, before he cried out a shrill, choppy “StOp!” Will solace was sprinting across the gym floor before Nico even began to fall to the ground.  
“Nico!” He yelled, before cursing himself for speaking loudly. He was a medic. He recognized the symptoms of a panic attack immediately. You were never supposed to sound like you were confronting a person, it could be triggering.  
Will felt pain in his heart at the sight of Nico curled up on the ground, terror written across his face. He never wanted Nico to feel pain. Why would Nico be anxious at a moment like this? All of his friends were here, and Will would have heard if any of them had said something awful to him. He couldn't think of an explanation.  
You don't need an explanation. Will told himself firmly. You just need to help Nico. He let his hands take over and he scooped the thin boy into his arms.  
Nico clutched at the fabric of Will's thin tank-top like a lifeline. He buried his face into Will's chest, his curly black hair tickling Will's collar bones.  
Will felt his face turn bright red. Now is not the time, he told himself. You need to stay calm when others aren't.  
He clutched the buy closer and ran for the infirmary, trying to ignore that Nico was sobbing into his shirt.


	2. chapter two

The Seven of the Prophecy weren't just confused, they were angry.  
Why was Will carrying an upset death child to the medic's center? Why wasn't he answering them when they called out to him? Why did Nico collapse onto the ground? And, probably the most upsetting question, why was Nico, one of the most stagnant people they knew, sobbing?  
It wasn't everyone asking these questions, of course. Annabeth and Percy could recognize a panic attack at first glance after their little 'vacation' from Hell (or, more appropriately, in Hell). Hazel had only made a strangled gasping noise and was quietly crying into her hands, not wanting to make any noise that might cause the startled medic to harm her brother on accident. Leo was looking on in shock. Frank was standing with his arm around Hazel, surprise written across his face.  
In fact, only one of them was yelling out frenzied questions.  
Will really wished a certain idiot by the name of Jason would just shut his damn mouth already. How was he supposed to do his job when he was being distracted in such a manner? Nico's panic attack showed no signs of stopping if the tear-stained wrinkles in his favorite Surf and Turf tank-top were an indicator of the small boy's anxiety levels.  
Jason didn't seem to be understanding.  
Even as Will finally managed to reach the front of the medic's tent, the despicable, persistent, blonde teenager would not stop yelling.  
“What the hell is going on, Solace?” Jason urged. “What happened to Nico? Why are you carrying him? I swear to the gods if you did something –”  
Will felt his usual calm composer strip away in less then a second. “You think it was me?!”  
He regretted yelling as soon as the words left his mouth. The loud noise startled the poor boy he was carrying, and the sound of Nico's strangled whimper made its way to Will's ears. As a son of Apollo, he was very in tune to noises and music. Will could feel that sound in his soul, tearing him apart from the inside. He could almost physically feel his heart breaking in two.  
Finally, Jason noticed that his yelling was doing more harm then benefit.  
With one look at the realization on Jason's face, Will shoved past lightning pants and ducked into the infirmary. He didn't need to look behind him. He knew for sure that Jason would be following suite, and that the rest of the merry bunch would be crowding around him in no time at all.  
Luckily for Will, there were only a few people inside the infirmary. Not many of his patients ever have to stay the night, so it was just Conner Stoll and his broken leg, Clarisse La Rue and her stab wound, and Will's fellow medic and half-sister Jess. Jess had the habit of sleeping in the Medic's tent just in case 'someone decides to be an idiot and gets themselves mauled in the middle of the night', as she puts it. All three of these people were still asleep.  
There was a private room for serious injuries and sicknesses that was attached to the back of the tent. Will Solace headed directly for it, Nico held firmly in his arms.  
As he turned to use his free hand to open the door, he saw a sight he hoped that he would never have to see again. Seven demigods rushing for him, each with the same angry/panicked look on their faces. Each with their mouth open to ask the same question, the one question that, as a medic, has haunted Will for most of his life.  
“Are they going to be okay?”  
Will was never happy with the answer.  
He decided just to ignore all of them and their stupid faces. Nico needed him, and he needed Nico. Oh gods, Will needed Nico to be okay. He created shadows, but that's why Will thought he was so important. You can't have shadows without sunlight. To Will, Nico was like sunlight.  
Will opened the door as quietly as he could, and set Nico down on the twin bed in the corner. Will got a good glimpse of Nico's face, and felt his chest contract at the sight.  
Nico was so beautiful, he always was, Will thought, but the sight of him in pain with his eyes screwed shut and his teeth grinding together made Will want to punch something. And when Jason and the Argo Gang pushed the door to the private room open and entered, he planed on punching someone.  
No, Will told himself. You are a highly trained doctor who don't need no plan. The pun lifted his spirits momentarily. He just needed to get a glass of water, some sugar, and some wet wash cloths, before he could make some proactive steps to helping Nico calm down. How hard could that be?  
Apparently, much more difficult then what he expected.  
He left Nico's side and dashed between Percy and Annabeth to quickly reach the sink at the far end of the tent. A bucket full of rags sat at the base of the water fountain, and plastic cups were stacked neatly inside the cupboards above. Will felt a slight flash of pride for his assistants and their ability to keep everything in place, even after the hectic rush of campers coming through with small injuries and head colds they had to deal with on a daily basis.  
It had only been a couple seconds, Will would have sworn to it, but when he pushed his way back into the private room the scene inside made him feel like he had been missing for minutes.  
Jason and Percy were arguing in what they thought were quiet voices, but were steadily climbing in volume. Hazel was standing next to Nico, trying to calm him down, and Nico...  
The poor boy was writhing on his bed, calling out in his panicked state.  
Most of what Will could hear was just sobbing and incoherent yelling, but one phrase had been shouted out just loud enough for him to hear over the commotion going on between the half-bloods. “Don't leave me!” He positively whimpered.  
Will did not consider himself above shoving Hazel out of his way if it meant he would be able to stop Nico from saying those heart wrenching things.  
“Shh...” He murmured, abandoning his supplies in favor of scooping the black-clad boy into his arms. The mumbling stopped almost immediately. Will sat down on the cot as to pull a shivering Nico onto his lap, and tucked the boy's head into his shoulder.  
Will had always seen Nico as the most powerful, strong, independent human he could think of. Every time he saw Nico slice down a monster, or raise a group of dead, he felt unwanted. No, he felt unneeded. But now, seeing that once strong boy reduced to tears in his arms, he felt guilty for ever wanting Nico to have any dependence on him.  
“What...what happened?” Hazel asked quietly. She was the first of the seven to break the silence.  
“It's called a panic attack. It's when severe anxiety builds up to the point where you can't control it anymore, normally leaving you in a state of intense fear. The reaction normally includes hyperventilation, which is why the person will delve into hysteria or even pass out.” Will didn't want to explain how Nico was feeling, but Hazel was Nico's sister. She deserved to know what had happened, even if the answer upsets her.  
And it did upset her.  
Silent tears started to pool under her eyes, running down her face like a waterfall. Frank brought her into a careful hug. It was as if he was afraid of breaking her, but he didn't mind shooting Will a disdainful glare over his girlfriend's shoulder.  
Will ignored the mean look in favor of comforting the boy on his lap. As the Special Seven of the Bitch Boat Numero Dos had calmed down and were no longer talking loudly, He decided just to wait out the anxiety attack and answer questions later with Nico's help.  
Ohhoho, would he be passively and politely questioning Nico later about his anxiety problems (keeping in mind that it should not feel like a confrontation). He couldn't believe Nico didn't trust him enough to tell him something like that. Will was a medic, for the sake of Apollo. If Nico were to talk to anyone about his problems, it should be him. Will thought that after spending three days with him in this very place, and then training together for weeks afterwords, they would have developed a closer bond.  
But Nico was upset, and Will needed to stop thinking about upsetting things if he was going to help Nico overcome his anxiety.

A couple minutes later, after three sobbing fits, one break down, and two whispered arguments, Nico showed sings of waking up from passing out after his panic attack.  
“Guys!” Will whispered/exclaimed. “He's waking up!”  
“What do we do?” Leo asked, panicked. “I can go ask Conner if he has any 'medicine' that might be helpful in this situation –”  
“We are not giving Nico di Angelo marijuana!” Percy whisper/yelled.  
Leo raised his hands in mock surrender. “I'm just saying, He might not even know what it is. We could probably trick him into drinking it –”  
“I know what pot is,” A groggy voice spoke up, surprising them all. “and I'm very disappointed in you all, trying to take advantage of me when I'm asleep.”  
He looked down, surprised and elated. His blue eyes met the deep black of Nico's and once again, Will solace felt his heart break.


	3. chapter three

Peering into Nico's eyes made everything right with the world.  
Contrary to the camp's popular belief, they weren't just plain black. Nico's eyes were like pools of oil, dark and swirling with rings of brown, silver, and purple. Will couldn't draw a straight line, but looking at Nico's eyes made him want to paint a picture of them.  
Being around Nico was making Will realize somethings about himself that he wasn't sure he liked. For instance, whenever Will was even near the son of Hades he was about as graceful as a drunk walrus. His heart started to flutter, and his head got distracted. Will was a born medic with naturally steady hands, but Nico's stupid face and stupidly beautiful eyes made him drop things on a daily basis.  
“Ahem,” Leo Valdez cleared his throat, and was elbowed hard in the gut by Piper.  
“Let them have their moment!” Will heard her hiss like the fujoshi she is.  
He felt a fiery blush light up his cheeks. All right, maybe he got a little too distracted by the boy sitting on his lap.

Nico woke up feeling pleasantly warm. It was as if he had been wrapped up in a soft blanket. A soft, breathing blanket. With the abs of a god. Nico di Angelo was actually wrapped in Will Solace's arms.  
Ohgodohgodhestouchingme was his conditioned response. He despised people touching him, especially males, or people with death in their pasts. Will was both of those things. Nico automatically tensed up, ready for the feelings of anxiety and discomfort that often came whenever other people touched him. He was used to the fear, and then the guilt and sadness that he always felt after he pushed the unlucky person away.  
But those feelings never came. Nico remained in the state of mind not unlike someone who had just woken up from napping in the sunlight outside.  
But then, a very different anxious thought made its appearance. What do I do because he's touching me and I'm awake now but I don't want him to stop?  
Luckily, Valdez helped him out by suggesting that Will should make Nico take pot. Fan-freaking-tastic.  
“I know what pot is,” He blurted out. Hey, he may be from the 1940's, but he wasn't completely clueless. Of course, saying that had revealed that he was awake and conscious of what was going on around him.  
Quick what's a cool thing that I can say? “and I'm very disappointed in you all, trying to take advantage of me when I'm asleep.” Nailed it.  
Nico finally opened his eyes to find that his favorite blonde demigod was staring back at him. Oh, and Jason was there too.  
While for some reason sitting on Will's lap with his arms around him felt much better and much more comfortable then being touched on the shoulder from some random camper, prolonged eye contact with his (startlingly blue, hot damn son) intense gaze was a bit to much for him to do while keeping his composure.  
The sound of Leo clearing his throat in annoyance startled Nico into looking away from Will and his freaky eyes. The eyes that were the precise shade of sunlight shining through clean stream water. The eyes that he wanted to drown in.  
Instead, Nico focused his own, boring, black eyes on a yellow poster hung up next to the small cot Will was holding him on. It was a large picture of a smiling sun with the words GET BETTER SOON! pasted at the base of it.  
Shit.  
Nico knew that poster. He knew of the cot he was sitting on, and he knew of the room around him. He was in the infirmary, and the head medic was cradling him to his chest. He was in the infirmary.  
Nico sat up so fast he nearly bashed heads with Will. “Why – What am I doing here?” He exclaimed, practically falling off the surprised medics lap. Nico scooted himself backwards into the wedge where the cot met the corner of the wall. Will Immediately reached for him, but the terrified look on Nico's face stopped him.

All of a sudden, Will began to feel extremely guilty. The sight of Nico's panicked eyes flashing around the room made him want to cry, even though he wasn't doing anything wrong, per say. The poor boy was suffering from symptoms of an extreme anxiety disorder. While that wasn't Will's fault, as his old 'nurse', he still felt very responsible for Nico's health.  
Will tried to let himself back into his usual calm demeanor. “You're safe, Nico. Nothing bad's going to happen.”  
Nico seemed to calm slightly at Will's attempt of soothing words. “What happened?” He whispered.  
That was exactly what Will didn't want to explain. “You had a panic attack, in the gym. Do you remember?”  
A look of realization, followed by one of fear, lit up Nico's face. “Yeah.”  
He nervously peered over Will's shoulder. Will turned around to see what he was looking at, and blushed brightly when he realized it was Annabeth. He remembered Drew telling him something about Nico having a crush on the wisdom child. Will definitely wasn't salty about that, and he definitely hadn't been calling her “owl face” behind her back since he'd found out.  
Maybe he was a little upset that his crush was straight. Just a tiny bit.

Nico peered at Annabeth's side, nervously searching for the weapon that had set him off in the first place. Luckily for him, she wasn't wearing it anymore.  
He leaned back against the wall behind him, relieved. Nico took a personal risk and looked back at Will's concerned face. He loved that face.  
After a moment of staring, he finally registered that Will has just spoken to him.  
“Erm – what was that?”  
Will grinned at him. His smile was like sunshine. “I asked you what you thought could have set off the panic attack.”  
Nico turned his gaze away from everyone in the room. They seven of them were just sitting against the wall, looking at him, as if they had been waiting for him to wake up. The fact that all of his friends were there made him very uncomfortable. He never wanted them to know the truth about him. Still, now that they did, lying would only make them trust him even less. “It was...Annabeth.”  
Percy made a move to stand up, an angry look on his face. “Slow down, di Angelo.”  
“Oh, calm yourself algae face. I'm sure that's not what he meant.” Will stood up from the cot and shot an annoyed look at Percy.  
“It isn't.” Nico agreed quietly. “It was her sword. The one made of bone. I recognized it from Tarturaus, that's all.”  
Annabeth went red. “I – I had no idea...”  
“Where is it now?” Piper asked.  
“I left it just outside the tent.” Percy looked at her, puzzled. Annabeth shrugged. “I've been here enough times to know how mad Will gets when you bring weapons into his tent.”  
“Damn right.” Will agreed.  
He looked back sadly at Nico.  
Oh great, Nico thought. Now he feels bad for you. He'll never like you at this point. He'll always think of you as an emo child. A nasty voice in the back of his head hissed at him. Nico just wanted to shrink under Will's gaze.  
“Alright.” The blond boy started. “Everyone out. Yes, that includes you, Thunder thighs. OUT!” Nico looked on in amazement as Will began to usher everyone else out of the room, occasionally giving out orders.  
“Valdez, let go of the stethoscope, and go get me some fruit from the dining pavilion. Come on, everyone, yes. Get out. I need privacy. Your presence is aggravating.”  
Nico blushed loudly at the second to last thing Will called out before everyone left them alone in the private room.  
“Privacy?” He asked, hoping that his tangled hair obscured the blush spreading to his ears and neck.  
Will shrugged. “They were being annoying, and I need to talk to you.”  
Oh, gods. Will wanted to talk to him. Nico knew what these talks always led to. It was the same thing each time anyone found out about his feelings. They would sit down, he would sit down, and they would ask him the same incriminating questions. How long have you felt like this? Why don't you talk to people about it? Why didn't you trust me enough to tell me?  
His eyes were closed, and he was readying himself for the interrogation when he felt something cold press against his forehead.  
“What the hell –” Nico looked up to find Will Solace wiping his face with a wet cloth. He was sitting next to him on the cot, a bucket of water on his lap, and an expression of concentration on his face.  
“Relax, I'm just cleaning the tear-salt of your face.”  
Nico was very happy that the rag was giving him an excuse to have a red face, because he was blushing like mad.  
“I'm sorry about – you know.” He said weakly.  
Will sat back on his heels, taking the cold rag away. “You're...what?”  
“I said I was sorry. I caused a lot of trouble, and now we can't train and I just –”  
Will grabbed Nico's shoulders and pulled him to look him in the eye, effectively shutting him up. “No. None of this is your fault, do you hear me? I care about you, and if that means I have to stay with you twenty-four/seven until you're better, then I will.”  
Nico's face drained of all color. Will's face was so close to his, their foreheads were almost touching. He could see straight into his eyes. They were beautiful eyes. For a moment, Nico thought they were getting closer.  
Ohmygoshishegoingtokissme?  
Suddenly, there was a loud banging on the door to the private room. A flustered Leo Valdez walked into the room. “Hey, Will, I didn't really know what you meant so I just got you a –” He looked up from the banana in his hands to see two guilty looking boys sitting as far from each other as possible on one cot. “– banana...”  
Will stood up quickly and grabbed the fruit from Leo's hands, before shoving him out of the room and closing the door.  
Nico thought the action was strangely hot.


	4. chapter four

“Here.” Will looked back and tossed the banana at Nico.  
“Oh, It's okay.” Nico protested as he caught the fruit. “I'm fine. I'm not really that hungry.”  
Will looked unimpressed. He turned around, flicking his bangs out of his eyes. “Just eat it. You passed out, you need water and sugar.”  
“I don't want to.” He continued to counter.  
“Nico,” Will looked back, exasperated. “I know your anxious right now but you really have to eat it.”  
“Will –” Nico started, but Will cut him off.  
“It's healthy for you, and they taste good so it'll get your spirits up,”  
“I said I don't want your damn banana.” Nico shouted.  
Will stepped back, hurt and surprised. He had never expected such an outburst from the quiet kid he had come to think fondly of. The sight of Nico's wide, sleep deprived eyes staring at him angrily sent chills down his spine. “There wasn't any need to shout.” Will said, his voice much quieter then before.

Nico immediately regretted his actions.  
You just had to yell at him, didn't you? The nasty voice in the back of his head scolded. Nico subconsciously curved his back and buried himself deeper into the two soft pillows behind him. He just wanted to shrink under the hurt gaze of the son of Apollo. Nico never wanted to hurt Will...but him hurting himself was beginning to hurt his friend as well.  
The truth was, Nico hadn't been eating much of anything since he got out of Tartaurus. After living off nothing but pomegranate seeds for a week, he realized that the anxiety is harder to feel when you already have the feeling of hunger in your stomach. Since then he avoided food as much as he could. The little food he did eat made his stomach turn, anyway. It wasn't like it was hurting him, Nico thought. You're too fat to starve, the voice in his head would always whisper.  
He couldn't eat in front of Will, he just couldn't. He already showed him how anxious he is even with a growling stomach to cover up most of the anxiety, how would he deal with being in the other boy's presence when the feelings are at full force?  
“I'm sorry,” Nico finally amended, his voice weak. He was just going to try to pull it off as something else. “I'm just not hungry right now. I don't think I'll be able to keep it down after...what just happened.” That wasn't necessarily a lie.  
“No, you're fine.” Will responded with a reassuring tone. “I should have listened to you in the first place. I just want you to be healthy.”  
Nico felt a glow of happiness in his heart, even for just a moment. “Thank you, Will.” He said quietly. The other boy grinned down at him.  
“I'm a doctor, Nico. I care about your well being. Please, just promise me you will eat it?” He looked up hopefully.  
Nico couldn't say no with Will looking at him through his eyelashes like that.  
“I promise.” He said grumpily. Nico looked away from Will's eyes and thanked the gods Will didn't ask him to swear on the river Styx. There was no way Nico was going to eat that banana.  
Will perked up and clapped his hands twice. “Well then! I'll leave you to it, but I have to go speak to Lou Ellen and Jess for a moment.

Nico hid the smile until Will left the private room.  
As soon as he did, Nico was grinning like a maniac and suppressing little happy squeaking noises. Will wants me to be healthy!  
He wouldn't have to if you already were...the voice in his head mumbled. For the first time ever, Nico was able to brush it off.  
Nico suddenly felt like he had so much energy. He stood up off the small cot and did a little no-partner swing dance.  
When he was finished celebrating, he saw the banana sitting on the pillow. Will wanted him to eat it, but Nico wasn't about to sacrifice the elation he was feeling for anxiety. He took the banana, unpeeled it, and threw the fruit into a trashcan next to the cot. Nico placed the peel on the bedside table next to the bucket and rags Will had used to clean off his face. There, now he wont be able to tell.  
Suddenly, Nico realized there was a conversation going on outside the room he was standing in. One of the people was Will Solace.

“Hey, hotstuff.” Will was greeted the moment he stepped into the main part of the infirmary. He turned to see his half sister, Lou Ellen, bringing trays of food for Travis and Clarisse. Both of which were completely awake and staring.  
“Um...hello?”  
Clarisse looked up at him and winked. “What's going on with di Angelo?”  
Will felt his throat close up in embarrassment. “Nothing! Nothing is going on!” he managed to choke out.  
Lou looked at him up and down. “What are you wearing?” She rolled her eyes, exasperated. “A tank-top? It's like you spent all that time in the closet for nothing.”  
Will nearly fell over from shock. “Lou!” He squeaked as Travis and Clarisse rolled with laughter.  
Lou shook her head and waved a hand at him. “Everyone knows, you don't need to be ashamed.”

Nico's eyes widened. Will's gay? He thought. He had a chance! Some sort of minute chance! Not like Percy, who was about as straight as a pole. Will actually had the possibility of liking him!  
No he doesn't, the voice in his head whispered, he could never like you.  
Nico's face fell again.

Will looked down at his feet. “It doesn't matter, he's straight.” He mumbled.  
Lou looked away, her face red. “You never know.”  
“Piper said he had a crush on Annabeth.”  
“So?” Lou shrugged her shoulders. “You have crushes on girls. What if he's bi too?”  
Will kept looking away. The discussion about his sexuality was making him uncomfortable, not to mention Clarisse and Travis were both staring at him as well. “I'm not that lucky.” He replied quietly.

Nico had had enough. His anxiety and depression was irking him, and he needed...something. Will. Will helped last time, maybe..?  
“Solace!” Nico called out before he could talk himself out of it.

Will heard his name from inside the private room. “Well friends, it's been nice but I must go.” He blurted, rushing back into the room.  
“Go get 'em tiger!” Lou whispered.  
“Yes Nico?” Will asked, seeing the other kid sitting nervously at the edge of the cot in the corner. That was before he noticed the look on Nico's face, and how badly his hands were shaking. “What's wrong?” He asked quietly.

“Nothing,” Nico rubbed the back of his head. “It's just I'm feeling kind of nervous and I don't know what to do...” His voice was cracking painfully. “I ate the banana.” He added meekly, with a small, forced grin.  
Will walked over and sat next to Nico. He hadn't dealt with a case of anxiety this bad before, and he really didn't know what he was supposed to do.  
“So,” He started. “do you wanna talk about it?” He asked. He felt really stupid but Nico let out a little giggle that lifted his spirits.  
“I guess.” Nico answered. “It...I guess it started after my sister died.”  
Will let out a low whistle. “That long, huh?”  
Nico didn't answer. “And then Tartuarus happened, so I guess that's when it started to get bad. A lot of stuff happens there...stuff you don't want to see. I don't know how I managed to do it alone.”  
Will nodded. “I understand. I mean, I don't understand I could never understand something like that I just –” Will became very interested in his shoes. “I 'feel you', I guess.”  
Nico laughed. An actual, elated laugh. The sound made Will's heart swell.  
“We should be going, unless you want to stay here for the day?” Will asked Nico. Of course he wants to stay, you numbscull.  
“Actually, I would like to go outside. Maybe the woods.” Nico suggested.  
“Okay.”Will smiled down at him. He stood up quickly – too quickly – and reached to help Nico stand up...and suddenly they were falling. Will had stepped on a wet rag.

Ohmygodhesontopofmewhatdoido? Nico freaked out. Internally, that is. When he fell onto the ground and Will fell on top of him, he didn't move a muscle. There was no way he wanted to get out of this position. He just didn't want to know what he was going to do while was. There was a gorgeous doctor on top of him.  
“Umm...” He spoke brilliantly.  
“Sorry.” Will whispered. His face felt on fire. His nose almost touched Nico's. “It was an accident.”  
“It's okay.” Nico whispered back. “Are you going to get up?”  
Will set his jaw. In disgust, the voice in his head said. But it wasn't. “No. I'm not.”   
He kissed him.  
Nico gasped in surprise. He could feel Will tense up, as if waiting for Nico to push him away. But Nico didn't want him to.  
The smaller boy reached up and wrapped his arms around Will's neck, pulling him in closer. His hands wound around the thin blonde strands of his hair.

Will grinned into Nico's lips, moving them against his. Nico reciprocated. There wasn't anything else that could make him feel more relaxed, more happy then just Nico. The scent of Nico, the taste of Nico, the feeling of him everywhere. Screw being a doctor, he couldn't even remember what he was doing in the infirmary!  
He felt the slightly chapped lips of the younger boy turn as Nico tilted his head to the right. Will made a noise of happiness in the back of his throat. He moved his hands from beside Nico's stomach and reached to grip his waist and pull himself closer to the other boy. His tongue brushed against Nico's teeth on accident, and Nico giggled quietly. Nico moved his thin fingers from behind Will's head to the sides of his face, pulling him closer. They couldn't have gotten more together.

Nico felt saliva drip down his chin, he heard the strange sucking noises of their kiss, and their noses kept bumping together, but nothing could have been more perfect.  
For a moment, his shirt rucked up over his bellybutton as he lifted his arms to pull Will closer to him. Will's hands gripped Nico's hipbones tighter as he traced his thumbs over the revealed skin. Nico shivered against the contact.  
For the first time, it felt amazing for someone to touch his skin.

Will was completely giddy from the amount of Nico he was being exposed to. He had to bite his lip to keep from giggling into the kiss. Wait, no. That was Nico's lip. The younger boy shivered underneath him.  
The soft pads of his thumbs traced over the little battle scars at Nico's hips and sides, outlining each mark carefully.  
If Will had been completely sober and not drunk from making out with the son of Hades, he would have realized sooner that there were much too many cuts on his hipbones. His fingers kept brushing against the even, parallel marks until it hit him. They're his.  
Will immediately broke away from the kiss.


	5. chapter five

/The soft pads of his thumbs traced over the little battle scars at Nico's hips and sides, outlining each mark carefully.  
If Will had been completely sober and not drunk from making out with the son of Hades, he would have realized sooner that there were much too many cuts on his hipbones. His fingers kept brushing against the even, parallel marks until it hit him. They're his.  
Will immediately broke away from the kiss./

“Nico...” Will whispered as he pulled away from the younger boy. “What? No!” He was on the verge of tears.  
Nico sat up, sliding away until his back leaned up against the front of the cot. Wills expression made no sense. They were just kissing, and now he's backing away and crying? “Will, Why are you –”  
And then he realized. Will was staring at his stomach. The stomach that he had been abusing every night for the past few months. “It...it isn't what it looks like.” He choked out. Nico's heart rate skyrocketed.  
Oh, now you've done it! The voice in his head screamed. You're pathetic and he knows it!  
Will frowned and pushed him backwards. He lifted Nico's shirt up farther.  
“Will, what the hell!” Nico exclaimed.  
He didn't answer, just stared at Nico's front with an unreadable expression.

It was Will could do to not break down at the sight of Nico's bare chest. There was quite a lot of muscle there, as well as on his abbs, but the poor child was so painfully skinny it was painful to look at.  
The cuts didn't look deep...but there were so. Many. Smooth slices lined his stomach and hip bones, interlocking and crossing to make some surreal pattern on Nico's sides. Enough were there to cover any flat skin left. The sight made Will feel like – well, a failure. He was supposed to be Nico's friend. He wanted to protect him, he wanted to make him feel loved. He wanted more. He wanted Nico to love him back. And if he didn't, he at least wanted him to be happy. But Nico was not happy,and he was far from feeling loved  
Will needed to know if there were more. He gripped Nico's arms, turning his wrists up to bare pale, unmarked skin. He recognized that Nico had said something, but didn't hear it. He pulled Nico's black jeans down to his knees.

“Will, stop!” Nico urged. He couldn't tell what the older boy was thinking, much less doing. He pulled his hands away from Will and shoved his shirt down to cover up his stomach when Will started trying to take off his pants.  
“What the hell are you doing?” Nico hissed. He adopted his worst glare and frighteningly deep voice.  
“I'm checking your legs.” Will muttered. An actual tear fell past his angled chin. He's crying? Why does he care this much?  
Will looked over Nico's thighs, and once he was satisfied that there were no cuts there, he helped Nico pull his pants back up.  
“It isn't a big deal.” Nico mumbled.  
Will dropped Nico's pants. He gazed up at Nico's face with bloodshot, frenzied eyes and an expression of utmost horror.  
“It...it isn't a big deal?” His voice was terrifyingly quiet. “It's not a big deal that you feel so bad mentally, hurting yourself with a blade feels better? It isn't a big deal when I am supposed to be your friend, I'm a doctor, and I didn't even notice? Is it not that big of a deal – why, because you think you're worthless? That you don't mean anything? Because you mean so much to me and so much to other people and if you're so hurt that you can't see that then it is a fucking big deal.” Will panted after delivering his rant.

Nico didn't know how to respond. Will...he had put everything he was feeling into words, yet he explained it as if it made no sense for Nico to think the way he had been thinking.  
It doesn't make sense. Why would Will say something like that? How could he say something like that if he didn't mean it?  
That was it.  
Nico finally realized. The boy had to be telling the truth. It was the only logical assumption. Anything else that his brain tried to tell him had to be false.  
Will...Will cared about him.  
And suddenly Nico was crying as well, diving into Will's arms.

Will didn't know how to react, except pat the sobbing boy on the back and whisper in his ear.  
“Shh, it's okay, everything's fine.” Will tried to comfort him. For a medic, he had surprisingly bad people skills. There was one thing he new how to do to calm people down, of course. He wasn't that good at it, but any child of Apollo is destined to have some sort of power involving song. Will's was to heal.  
“They say we are what we are...but we don't have to be.” He started, first at a low hum, but his voice eventually gained volume.  
Nico got quieter for a moment, his sobs subsiding. He wiped his face against the sleeve of Will's cut-off shirt.  
“I am the sin in the bottom half of the hourglass,” Will sang.  
Nico picked his head up and sat backwards. He rubbed at his face with the color of his soft tee-shirt.  
“I try to picture me without you but I can't.”  
Will scooted closer to Nico, pulling him in gently. Nico obliged. His eyes felt heavy with sleep, even though it was midday.  
“We could be Immortals...Immortals,” Will sang, softer now. He scooped Nico into his arms and picked him up, before setting him down gently on the cot in front of him. Nico was nearly snoring.  
“Just not for long, for long.” Will leaned down and kissed the small boy on the forehead.  
Over the next couple of hours, when Nico remained asleep, Will busied himself by applying healing salve and nectar to the tiny injuries that covered the tiny Italian boys stomach. The entire time he continued to hum different songs. No, he didn't take the opportunity to ogle Nico's muscular structure, and he totally didn't blush as he had to touch His abbs. He is a doctor for gods sake.  
After Will had finished, he decided to clean the room as best he could. Cleaning normally helped him clear his mind.  
He put away used rags and containers, washed utensils, bagged the trash...  
And found something that made his heart hurt.  
Inside the trash can was the fruit from the banana he asked Nico to eat. The peel was sitting on his desk.  
Will ached inside.  
Why do I feel like this? Why am I so useless? Why couldn't I be a better friend?  
He had to sit down at the corner of the cot for a moment and talk some sense into himself. “You're doing the same thing he is, William.”  
Will shook his head, clearing his thoughts. He stood up as if he were to make his way to leave the room. Something grabbed onto his arm.  
“Hmm.” Nico muttered, still half asleep. “Stay here.”  
Will felt his face heat up. “I...I have errands to do.” He lied out of embarrassment.  
“No you don't, you dork.” Nico mumbled. “I haven't slept that long in a year. Stay with me.”  
Will sat back down on the cot. “What do you want me to do?” he asked. His could feel his face flare up. Nico's tired eyes stared up at him hopefully, his curly black hair messily framing his face.  
“Come here.”  
Will obliged.  
He pulled back the thin covers on the cot, scooted underneath them, and pulled them back around himself and the other boy. Nico immediately shimmied closer until his back was pressed flush against Will's chest. Will was just tall enough to rest his chin on the top of Nico's head. He wrapped his arms around the smaller boy's waist, tucked his feet around Nico's legs, and closed his eyes.

Nico felt warm. Not uncomfortably hot, just...pleasant. Comfortable. Even sleeping in jeans, he was more content with Will wrapped around him then he would have been in any other position. The truth was, he hadn't had a better sleep in – well, longer then he could remember. He wondered if it was Will's presence. Asking the boy to sleep with him had been a good idea. For once, the thought of nightmares was a distant one.

Will woke up to a lot of loud noise. The Infirmary must be really busy, he thought. It was. The medic's center was full to the brim after that night's game of capture the flag.  
Wait.  
Will's eyes snapped open. He was still lying in bed with a sleeping Nico. It was nighttime. People were in the infirmary. They had slept through the whole day.  
“Nico!” Will whispered urgently. “You need to get up!”  
“Don't want to.” The sleepy boy protested. He gripped Will's arms and held them around him tighter, as if he were trying to use Will as a blanket. “Five more minutes.” His voice was thick from sleep.  
“Nico you slept through capture the flag. People might come in here.”  
That got his attention.  
“I...I slept? How?”  
Will rolled his eyes. “Just get up, we need to get going or people will start to suspect something.”  
The two boys quickly stood up, shoved their shoes on their feet, and tried to arrange their clothes and hair so it didn't look like they had just been making out. They were only somewhat successful.  
“Come on, we can go through the back exit, hurry!”

The two boys made it to the campfire before anyone important noticed. They had been missing. Will was sure the stupid seven had realized when neither of them had shown up for capture the flag, but that would be easy to explain.  
Nico tried to start a conversation on their way to the bonfire. H took Will's arm, just above the elbow, silently asking him to slow to a walk. “Why – forgive me for asking, but why are you covering for me?”  
Will looked back at him. “Why do you say that?”  
“Why did you answer my question with another question?”  
Will sighed. He did have a good point. “I'm not necessarily covering for you, I'm doing it for myself as well. I don't like people knowing so much about my personal life, especially when it doesn't matter.”  
Nico nodded. “I understand. I just...I wanted to thank you. It matters a lot to me what people think. More then what it should. But it also...doesn't.” He sighed. “It's hard to explain.”  
“Your depression doesn't care enough and your anxiety cares too much.” Will summed up.  
“Yeah,” Nico let out a quiet laugh. “I guess you could put it that way.”  
Will wanted to ask something, but he didn't want to make Nico feel bad. Still, he felt as though he had to. “Are you...are you ashamed?” He asked quietly.  
Nico looked as though he didn't know how to respond to that. “I know that I shouldn't be,” He started, speaking slowly. “but I can't help but feel upset with my self. I think my brain just uses my being...”  
“Homosexual?” Will supplied.  
Nico grinned. “Yeah, that. My brain just likes to use it to berate me. Plus, I grew up in the 40's. It wasn't exactly a desirable trait back then.”  
Will said nothing. His heart ached dully after hearing the part about how Nico's “brain” used his sexuality as an excuse to depress him. He just wanted to shower Nico in hugs and kisses in public, even though he knew the boy wouldn't appreciate.  
“I want to come out.” Nico spoke. Will almost jumped a foot in the air. Nico had said it so quietly he wouldn't have heard it if he was a couple inches farther away.  
“Hmm?” was all he said.  
“Yeah, I just want to...let everything go. Just tell everyone.” He looked at Will expectantly. “I just don't know how.”  
“You will when it comes around, trust me.” Will replied. He came out to Lou Ellen at a party because he wanted to get it off his chest, and though she teased him, she was one of the most supporting friends he could have.  
“I guess.” Nico didn't look assured. “Come on, I think they're already starting.”  
Will hadn't noticed they were holding hands until Nico let go of his.

“Hey boys, where have you guys been?” Piper ran up to hug Will and Nico the second they arrived at the amphitheater seating around the bonfire.  
Nico tensed up at the physical contact, but answered the excited girl. “I was resting. Will was...”  
“I was helping his rest. Medically.” Will added, a blush flaring at his face.  
Piper wasn't believing it. “I see.” She gave them the benefit of the doubt, but still shot Will a disbelieving look. “Well, your family is getting ready for the performance. You should probably go help them out. You're gonna be playing the lute, right?”  
Will's eyes widened in realization. “Oh my god...” He pulled Nico in for a quick hug. “I have to go. Don't wait up!” he shouted back, already running for the tent behind the bonfire.  
Piper eyed Nico, a grin playing at the corners of her mouth. “You didn't flinch.”  
Nico could swear the emotionally-colored fire glowed bright red for a second. “...I know.”  
Piper cackled. “Come on, lover boy. Sit with us.”  
He peered out over the amphitheater. Jayson and Percy were taking turns trying to launch marshmallows into the air and catch them in their mouths. Hazel, Frank, Leo, and, most surprisingly, Annabeth were cheering them on. They were all sitting in a large group in the center of the crowd of people.  
“Umm, I'd rather sit on the outside. Or, you know, somewhere not surrounded by that many people.” Nico rubbed the back of his neck.  
Piper gazed back at her friends and boyfriend, and nodded knowingly. “I got'chu. Go ahead, there are some empty seats in the front.”  
Nico rushed down to sit just stage right.

“Prince William!” Mark, an eighteen-year-old son of Apollo called for Will. He flicked his blue-dyed side cut out of his eyes with a smooth tilt of his head. “You're taking over my roll for tonight.”  
Will stepped back. “What?” he exclaimed. “I can't play the base guitar! I play the lute. The lute, Mark.”  
Mark grinned. “It's the same chord progression, you should know that. You have to move your fingers the same exact way, you just have to sing while you're doing it.”  
Will felt his heart fall into his stomach and continue beating. “I have to do the singing too?”  
Mark rolled his eyes and smacked the top of Will's head with a sheet of lyrics. “You are good at singing. Your dad is the literal and figurative god of singing.”  
“That doesn't mean I can do it on stage!” Will protested.  
“I don't really care, you're going to do it or the whole cabin will hate you.”  
Will looked around at the bustling campers, each one doing something important, all of them working together to get ready for the show. They all needed a lead singer.  
“Wait,” Will held up his hands, keeping mark from attacking him with paper again. “why can't you do it?”  
Mark rubbed the back of his head. “I'm not allowed. Chiron got me in trouble for using an illegal move during capture the flag.”  
Will rubbed his forehead. “I don't even want to know what you did.”  
Mark smiled happily. “So you'll do it?”  
Will rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I'll do it.”  
“Whoop!” Mark looked out among the blonde heads around them. “Will's gonna sing!”  
They all cried out half heartedly.  
Suddenly, one of the girls picked up a microphone. “Everyone get ready to go! We need to start the show!”  
“Just take this,” Mark dropped his heavy base into Will's reluctant arms and strapped the chordless headset around Will's ears. “and this, and you're ready to go! Get out there!”  
He slapped Will's ass and shoved him outside and onto the stage.

Nico looked up as everyone started to cheer loudly. Will had stumbled out onto the platform in front of the bonfire. He held a large blue guitar in his arms. Nico was confused. I thought he was just going to be in the back, playing the lute?  
But no, more kids from the Apollo cabin flooded out around Will, and Nico saw at least three kids with lutes in their hands.  
Drum players and guitars and microphones were scattered everywhere, and suddenly they were all playing.  
A fast, tribal beat spread out along the audience. They quickly quieted down.  
Nico noticed Will looking nervously back at his sisters, who were sitting behind the large drum sets. They nodded reassuringly.  
He started to strum the four strings in beat with the music, and stepped out to the front of the stage.  
“They say we are what we are, but we don't have to be.” The volume and clarity of his voice didn't portray how nervous he looked.  
Nico just wanted to go up and hug his boyfriend.  
Boyfriend? He thought. Are we even together?  
“I'm bad behavior but I do it in the best way.”  
We should be. I mean, we made out and then took a nap together, that's pretty couple-y.  
“I'll be the watcher, of the eternal flame/ I'll be the guard dog, of all your favorite dreams.”  
Nico looked, mesmerized as Will started to gain confidence on stage. He began to sway back and forth, playing the base more enthusiastically.  
“I am the sin in the bottom half of the hour glass, glass. I try to picture me without you but I can't. We could be Immortals, I-Immortals, just not for long, for long.”  
“I want to come out, I just don't know how.”  
Nico remembered himself saying it. Suddenly, he knew how.  
“We pull the black out curtains down, Just not for long, for long. We could be Immortals,” Will climbed perfectly.  
Nico stood up and walked to stage right, hiding in the shadows as the crowd screamed and cheered. He let the song play out until the last line, took a shaky breath, and walked out onto the stage.  
Everyone was too busy screaming until their lungs gave out to really care that Nico had invaded Will's stage presence.  
The crowd began to quiet down as Will looked to the side to see Nico making his way toward him, a determined look on his face.  
“Nico, what are you –”  
He was cut off by the shorter boy tearing his headset off, grabbing the front of his shirt and yanking him down to his mouth.  
Will barely heard the screams and catcalls from the audience as he took Nico's face in both hands and kissed him back with ferocity.  
After the audience calmed down a little bit, Nico pulled away and rested his forehead against Will's.  
“So,” He started, grinning. “We're together, right?”  
Will gave him another chaste kiss. “What do you think?”  
Nico grabbed both of Will's hands in his own. “Let's go eat some s'mores.”


End file.
